Self portrait in blue
30x40cm, Acrylic on Canvas, Crochet with Cotton Yarn
I’ve always been obsessed with Eiffel 65’s “Blue.”
So has the pop music industry, apparently … there seems to be a new version every year since 1999.
But back to the point:
This self-portrait is based on the official photo taken when I received the highest academic award at my MBA. At the time, I didn’t fully understand why it felt bittersweet. I thought I was celebrating, but in truth, I was still quietly holding myself to the highest imaginable standards. Always performing. Always proving.
Beneath that moment of pride lived fear and sadness … fear of not belonging, of not existing enough, of not being good enough to deserve to exist. Grief over the many versions of myself I kept letting go of in favor of a polished, career-friendly story.
I am blue.
The crochet net around my face represents that cage. Yet there is a clear window: a pathway to escape.
That award became my open door.
My pathway to freedom.
experiment
5x10cm, Acrylic on Canvas, Crochet with Acrylic Yarn
This was an experiment: my first completed work combining crochet and painting.
I was mostly interested in playing with contrasts: color versus texture, the softness of yarn against the flatness of paint, the intricate stitches layered on a simple background. There was no grand concept behind it: just the leftover yarn in my stash, and the paint came after. I loved how the nets intertwined organically.
Funnily enough, I recently donated this piece to my current employer — a company filled with geologists obsessed with rocks. They immediately pointed out that it looks exactly like certain rocks under a microscope.
The most stable matter form on Earth, isn’t it?
Maybe this piece turned out more grounded than I expected.
portrait of daniella
40x30cm, Acrylic on Canvas, Crochet with Cotton Yarn
Daniella is one of my dearest friends.
We’ve been close since 2012, sharing different lives, evolving alongside each other. We’ve known many versions of ourselves, and she never ceases to amaze me.
Lately, Daniella has been rediscovering her relationship with art and seeking a more meaningful path. It felt natural to paint her portrait in a way that reflects the process she’s undergoing.
She is a force of nature — which is why I chose vibrant shades of red and pink. These tones contrast with her previous surroundings: stale, fixed, muted.
The crochet net in the piece is made of small stars or maybe cubes, depending on your perspective. They represent her essence: structured yet expansive, soft yet unyielding. Through the net, you can see her defiant gaze — a woman determined to build a life that truly fits her.
in the grip of ego
30x40cm, Acrylic on Canvas, Embroidered with Acrylic Threads and Glass Beads
The ego.
The mysterious force. The deeply rooted fears, desires, thought patterns.
The one that is you. Woven so tightly within us.
So beautifully crafted.
Glittery, glamorous.
Self-respect.
Self-righteousness.
All dressed in pink.
All foolish.
Streckenkönigin
20x30cm, Acrylic on Canvas
A stream of consciousness, written at the peak of my financial anxiety.
Golden cuffs crafted by yours truly.
The fears and losses born from success itself.
Debt.
Questions.
Love.
And at the center: one word — Streckenkönigin.
“Queen of the route.” It came from a 10K race t-shirt I got in Germany.
But strecken can also mean to stretch.
I thought about my ability to constantly overextend myself
to stretch far beyond my limits,
often unconsciously,
only to snap back
in some other self-destructive fashion.
Veritas.
… this is a work in progress.
Stay tuned for updates!
